Gundam Girls
by Pippen
Summary: Once again, sent by sir-laid
1. Chapter 1

Comments: - Hee hee! Wufei is a WOMAN! Oh, what was I thinking!?! I think this was the product of some sort of cheese related dream... that and the funny Gundam Girls picture that's been floating about the net for ages... Don't ask HOW or WHY they were turned into girls... they just were! I'll make it up somehow, its more fun if you don't know though, isn't it Wufei? *MUUGH!*  
  
Warnings: - Expect the unexpected! Loads of sexual innuendoes (come on! Duo and Heero have to figure out how to have sex all over again!), cursing, swearing, nakedness... blah blah blah... BEGIN! ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~- ~-~-~- Chapter One Duo lazily pulled his arms up from the side of the bed and pulled them across his front. ' Yeah, that must be Heero's ass...' he thought as his arms hit something ass-like just at his chest. He then opened his eyes to be met by a scowling Heero glaring back at him. " Heero?" Heero frowned further and shut his eyes and drew his hands up to his ears to block out the imminent scream that Duo was about to let out as best as he could. It didn't work. " OH MY GOD!!! I HAVE A CHEST!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?" Duo burst out into tears. " My years of trying to build my self-confidence by telling myself that I was masculine... gone..." he threw out a hand as if waving goodbye to his manliness. Heero folded his (her) arms, his shoulder length hair surrounding him. Duo screamed again. " What is going on with my voice?! What happened?!" he (she) lifted up the bed sheets. " NOOOO! HEERO! What happened to your... your..." " What happened to yours?! I woke up this morning and it wasn't there!" Duo almost fainted... not Heero too, even his voice had lost its huskiness and it seemed more, feminine? He lay flat and stared at his chest. He poked one. " Okay, I've got it... this is one of those 'share dream' things where I'm gonna wake up and everything is going to be fine... I'll be flat chested again, and you'll have something that I can grab onto... Hey! What are you doing?!" Heero looked up. " I'm just admiring your bikini line, its way better than mine." He (I shall be typing 'he' all the way through this fic so as not to confuse, besides its funny, Wufei being a 'she-he' OUCH! Sorry Wufei...) " Did you shave or wax?" " How the hell should I know?!" he rolled onto his side. " This is bad... WAY bad... I don't wanna be a girl! Its too much hassle! I'll never be able to work that 'front to back thing' out..." Heero stood up and Duo's eyes were immediately drawn to his feminine curves, especially the ones on his chest. " What." Asked Heero as he pulled on a t-shirt. " Is there something on me?" " For God's sake Heero! You're a girl! What the hell happened?!" Heero shrugged his shoulders, in doing so it made his chest wobble slightly. Duo felt a nose bleed coming. " Stop that!" " Stop what?" " The bouncing chest thing! Stop it!" He shrugged again. " What does that mean?!" " It means I'm just gonna have to learn to live with it..." ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~- ~-~-~- Quatre woke up and pulled at his hair. He opened an eye in alarm as he realised that he was tugging at it half way down his back. He sat up on one arm and looked down to be greeted by an almighty 36C chest. " Okay... I don't have to get up for another half hour... back to sleep..."  
  
He looked across at the bed that Trowa was fast asleep in. for a second he could have sworn that Trowa had a couple of breasts, but it was so early in the morning that it was probably his mind playing tricks on him. Of course, he quickly changed his mind when he reached down to give himself a good scratch (Ahh, the best way to start the day...) and brought his hand up covered in blood. (That's right ladies! Its that time of month!) " ARGH! SOMEONE HAS CUT IT OFF!" Trowa sat upright in bed. " What?! Who cut what off?!" Quatre swung his legs round and fell back at the sight of his own blood. " Where did it go?! My manhood! I was SO proud of it as well! And my HAIR!" he grabbed onto it and pulled it round so that it framed his face. " Oh my God, Trowa! Your hair! It's, it looks styled! And what are they about, you a 38D or something?! What the hell are those two things hanging from the front of you?!" " You have them too! Stop rubbing it in!" " I'm not rubbing anything in! Jesus Trowa, at least you won't hit your face first if you run into a wall..." Trowa stood up and stretched. Quatre sat and looked at the vacant space between his legs and at the blood that was pouring out from it. " I've got to get something to stop this! It's not right! I'm BLEEDING for God's sake! BLOOD!" Trowa pulled on a pair of boxers that left a lot to be filled, and a shirt before heading down the stairs. " HEY TROWA! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE! I MIGHT BLEED TO DEATH!" ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~- ~-~-~- " I guess that answers your question..." drawled Heero as he sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. Duo pouted. " I didn't say that the others wouldn't be like this, I just said 'What if they aren't', stop being an ass! I wonder why Quatre's shouting anyway..." Trowa appeared round the door. " He's bleeding." " Bleeding?" Heero sounded genuinely surprised. " ...that time of month..." whispered Duo across the table. Heero pulled thoughtfully at his hair. " Blow me away Trowa! Talk about tall and busty..." Duo sniggered as Trowa folded his arms in an effort to control his chest. " I can't help it if I'm big, alright?" " I knew you were big, but this big? Come on, this'll get you guys back for all the times that you've called me a girl..." All fell quiet at the sound of footsteps thundering down the stairs. Seconds later, Wufei burst in the door. " WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?" Duo burst out laughing, Heero hid behind the morning paper and Trowa turned his back, trying desperately to hide his smirk. " Wufei! You sure your even gonna need a bra for those two?" Duo chuckled. " SHUT IT MAXWELL!" " That's 'Miss Maxwell to you! Honestly... some girls are SO rude..." Wufei folded his arms over his almost 32A chest. " Well have a go at Trowa! Look at the state of him!" " What? I'm not in any state, am I. At least I have something worth getting upset about, stop crying over nothing." " Nothing!? You call this nothing?!" He lifted up the top that he was wearing so that his crotch could be seen. The three stared back at him with blank expressions on their faces. " Actually, I would call that nothing, but I guess you've missed the point..." said Duo. Then he burst out laughing again. " I'm too good! Get it? Point, missing, Wufei is missing his point?!" Wufei turned a discreet shade of red and mumbled something in a high- pitched tone. Even Trowa was laughing out loud, and Heero was choking on a mouthful of coffee. " Hey, liven up Wufei! We're all girls here, nothing we haven't seen before..." Quatre stood in the doorway, clutching a box that had the word 'Tampax' printed across it in bold lettering. " Hey guys, I found these in the bathroom cupboard and it says here that they stop the bleeding..." (Before you say 'What is Quatre doing with a box of Tampons in his bathroom cupboard, its not his cupboard to keep them in. they are in a safe house.) Four faces turned pale. " Uh, where the hell does it go...?" Four faces looked at Duo. " What?! What is it?!" Wufei grabbed the mug out of his hands. " So, Miss Maxwell. Seeing as there is nothing that you haven't seen before, are you going to aid Miss Winner in seeing that she knows how a tampon works...?" If Duo could have death-glared then he would have. Quatre was still standing in the doorway. " Guys... I'm bleeding over here..." " Good comeback..." whispered Heero. Wufei smirked. This was going to be good... 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two " What happened to you?" asked Heero to Quatre as he walked into the kitchen. " You look like you've fallen off of a horse..." Quatre scrunched his face up. " This thing is SO uncomfortable!" " What thing?" " The 'thing' that I used to stop the bleeding! What else do you think?! I shoved a paintbrush up myself?!?" Heero bit his lip. " You don't need to be so nasty, you can be such a bitch Quatre!" " Uh-oh..." whispered Duo to Trowa. " Cat fight imminent..." " Why?" Whispered Trowa in reply " Quatre has PMS, that and NO ONE shouts at Heero..." Quatre slunk into a chair, making sure that he crossed his legs. " So what now? I need more of theses tampon things; I only have a couple left. And I REALLY need a bra, these things don't half get in my way..." " Not as much as Trowa's do..." Smirked Duo evilly. Trowa crossed his arms again. " I agree with Quatre. We need to go shopping, urgently." " What about lil' Wu-chan?" he replied. " I doubt that he needs to go bra shopping, he's got nothing to put in it." " I don't think you should be talking about him behind his back like that, you know how sensitive he is." " You should go up to his room and talk to him Quatre..."  
  
Quatre snapped back. " Why me?! Why can't you go?!"  
  
" Cause I've had enough of him bitching at me as it is, that whole thing yesterday REALLY pissed me off so you can go!" Quatre mumbled something under his breath and sat glaring at Duo with his eyes narrowed and his lips pursed. He was NOT in the mood for this. " Suppose..." he said at length before he hauled himself out of the chair and dragged himself up the stairs. ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~- ~-~-~- " WUFEI! WUFEI GET OUT HERE!" screamed Quatre as he thumped on the Chinese boy/girls door. 'Damn this... what the hell is wrong with me? Why do I feel so shit?!' " I'm coming in Wufei! Don't you keep me waiting out here!" Quatre flicked back his hair and thrust the door open to find Wufei in floods of tears. (Aww...) " Wufei! What are you doing?!" Wufei looked up at the blonde. " I don't know!" he managed to wail between sobs. " I can't stop the whole crying thing! Its that bitch Duo, I'm not talking to him! He can kiss his ego and shove it up his ass!" (If you have no idea what's going on here, it's one of those 'girly chats' where two girls just sit and bitch about other people. It's fun!) " Aw, don't listen to him Wufei... come on, we're going shopping, and we want you to come..." Wufei's head pricked up (keep your minds out of the sewer and get them back in the gutter where they belong! He can't 'prick his head up', if you get what I mean... heh heh...). Shopping? For some inexplicable reason, the offer to go shopping was too tempting to resist. " Shopping? Shopping for what?" Quatre stood for a moment thinking what to say. " Essentials..." he said at last. Wufei jumped to his feet and clapped in a girly way. " Oh great! Wait, no..." " No what? Don't you want to come with us? If its Duo then I can just..." " No, it's not that..." " Well what is it then?!" " What am I going to wear?!" ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~- ~-~-~- All five stood in the centre of the shopping mall trying to find the shop that they were looking for on the big-assed 'You are Here' map. " Miss Prissie's Boutique of Bra's?" Suggested Heero, poking the symbol on the map. " Sure, anything." Stuttered Trowa, as he fought with his impressive bust. Duo skipped along the walkway. " Yay! At last I can buy all of those girly- girly hair products and other such accessories that I have always dreamed about buying without getting funny looks!" Heero slapped him across the back of the head. " You're getting funny looks now so stop it! We're here to buy bras and that's all! You can get your hair stuff later!" Duo pouted and stuck his tongue out while flicking his loose hair over his shoulder. " You're just jealous that your hair isn't as great as mine. Look at all those split ends! When we're done here, your coming to the salon with me..." " Oh! Can I come too!" chirruped Quatre. " Sure, that's a good idea. Oh! I've always wanted to get my hair done professionally! Hey! Trowa! Let go!" Trowa had taken hold of his hair and had started to drag him in the direction of the bra shop. " Bras now, hair later. Please Duo, this is getting really difficult to keep my arms up all the time." Duo voiced his anger but allowed himself to be dragged along. After getting lost a few times because of their inability to read shopping mall maps (can anyone?), they finally arrived in the shop. " So what size should I get?" wondered Quatre aloud. " Hey Heero! Check these out!" Duo held a red silk and lace bra proudly over his head. Heero made one of his 'hmm' noises and continued to rake through the assortment of under wires. Wufei, who had remained quiet the whole trip, was approached by the shop assistant. " Can I help you at all Miss?" Wufei looked startled. The women who worked in these shops actually asked you if you wanted help?! How did you need help bra shopping?! He may as well ask... " Uh, yes. Um, I was looking for, well..." " Do you know what size you are?" Wufei felt a nose bleed coming. " Well, no. Um..." The girl smiled. " Well, we can get you measured. If you would follow me then I'll get you measured up." Wufei felt that he had no choice so he followed the girl over to the counter where she produced a measuring tape from nowhere. " Can you lift your arms for me a minute Miss?" Duo sharked along the rails. Wufei was getting measured?! This was DEFINATLY worth seeing... " Hey guys! C'mere! Wu-chan's getting measured!" Within seconds the other four were crowded round him watching with expectant eyes. " You're a 32A Miss, if you would like to follow me again I can show you to where the junior bras are." " ...junior...?" whispered Duo, finding it VERY difficult not to burst out laughing. " Hey there you go! All the time Wu-chan's been going on about women and he doesn't exactly make a good one! Does he Quatre?!" Duo elbowed the blonde in the side. " Don't laugh Duo, it's not fair..." " But it IS funny, you have to admit..." Wufei stood getting redder and redder by the second. Damn them! He could be a perfect woman, if he wanted to... not that he did but if it proved Duo wrong then he would become the best woman there was! And he would start now! He strutted off in the direction of the bras, swinging his hips in a feminine way. " When did Wufei learn to walk like that?" asked Heero, who pulled at his hair. " I dunno..." gaped Duo. " Practice?" Quatre giggled. " Can I get measured now?" he asked the other assistant who was staring at the five of them with a bemused look on her face. " I'm having a little trouble..." ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~- ~-~-~- By the end of the day, all five were fitted out in bras and Quatre had stocked up on a supply of tampons. Duo bought one of those tragic hair magazines that have hair-styles in them that looked like they had been dragged through a bush backwards, he spent the rest of the night playing about with his friends hair, trying to find the style that suited them the most. Quatre was a little pissed (must have been that PMS...) when Duo put his hair up in pigtails, but took it as a joke and started going around the house saying: ' My name ist Helga, I com from Sveeden' actually getting a laugh from Wufei, Heero and Trowa. Wufei pulled incessantly at the two buns that Duo had pinned to the top of his head but was angry at him enough so he kept quiet in order to prevent a fight. Trowa was content with his hair the way it was (think 'Noin' is the best way I can describe it.) and Heero refused to let Duo anywhere near him so just put his hair up in a pony- tail. Duo's was the simplest, keeping it loose and pinned up at the sides; he couldn't wait until he could go shopping for all those hair-mousses, sprays, fancy clips, etc etc... When all the others had went to their beds, Wufei crept down the stairs and picked the magazine up to look for something that had caught his eye earlier that evening when he had flicked through it. He leafed through the pages until he found what he was looking for; " The Annual Miss Teen Beauty Competition"... ' Excellent...' he though to himself while smirking and clutching the magazine. ' If I can get the others to enter this along with myself, that should show who's the best woman here...' 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three  
  
" A WHAT CONTEST?!?" screeched Duo in one of his higher tones.  
  
Wufei threw his nose in the air. " A beauty contest..."  
  
Duo threw himself into the chair next to Heero. " What exactly are you trying to prove out of this Wufei? We all know who makes the best woman here, and it certainly ain't you!"  
  
" Oh, and what do you mean by that?!" shouted the PMSy Quatre. " I take it that you fancy yourself as 'Miss Teen'..."  
  
" No! I didn't say anything like that!"  
  
" You implied! That's bad enough!"  
  
" I didn't do nothing! You can't prove anything!"  
  
Quatre ripped the magazine from Wufei's hands and quickly scanned the entry form over. " Tell you what Duo, I'll enter this if you enter it, then we'll see who's the best..."  
  
" I don't think that we should be entering beauty competitions..." said Heero in withdrawn tone, he didn't like it when Duo started bitching with anyone. It always made him feel uneasy, more than likely because it was something that he had done and Duo was pissy at him, but ended up shouting at one of the others anyway... " That's like letting our looks and new bodies get to our head. As long as we're happy with the way we look, we don't need to enter a competition to tell us that we look good...". Heero stopped talking when he realised that Quatre had already started hacking the form out of the page and he was now currently arguing with Wufei over who had the one single pen last. He just hoped that the whole bleeding thing that was going on with Quatre would stop soon; it was like living with a Zero-exposed Quatre permanently!   
  
Trowa 'bounced' through from the kitchen.  
  
" Hey Trowa! How do ya fancy entering a beauty contest, on request of Wufei?" called Duo.  
  
Trowa made a thoughtful 'hmm' noise. " A contest involving the participation of girls from the age of sixteen upwards, where they are judged upon their ability to walk in high-heeled shoes and their unnatural, often cosmetic looks. Competition involves the competitor, in this case, young females, to exhibit their bodies in a most demoralising and immoderate fashion while very little attention is paid to the participant in any great detail... The participant as a person rather than a fatuous creation made for the soul purpose of scrutinising..."  
  
Duo scratched his head. " So... I take it that the answer is no..."  
  
Trowa nodded.   
  
" What about you then Heero? Are you gonna enter?"  
  
" No, I agree with Trowa."  
  
" You two are just scared that I'll beat you, even though its pretty obvious who's gonna win out of us..." drawled Quatre. " Too scared to make a bet?"  
  
" No..." said Heero   
  
" Well come on then! You've never turned a bet down before..."  
  
" That's cause before I wasn't a girl. I don't want to bet with you, this whole idea is ridiculous. I'm having nothing to do with it..."  
  
Dou frowned. He HAD to get Trowa and Heero in this contest. He stood for a moment thinking. The betting thing had failed, but he knew something that would get them in it without a second thought.... " But Heero, Quatre, Wufei and me are going to the salon, and we need to go clothes shopping... But, if you don't wanna enter this competition then I guess there's no point in you or Trowa coming with us..." (Uh-oh, its that 'shopping' word again...)  
  
Heero got up, walked over to Wufei, grabbed the pen out of his hands and scribbled his name down on the form. " When are we going?"  
  
" Going? Are we meant to be going somewhere?" asked Quatre, confused that Heero had suddenly changed his mind. (Ahh, another talent us females have and exploit to its full potential...)  
  
Heero death-glared Quatre. " Shopping. I want to go shopping. And we had BETTER be going to the salon, or you can kiss your entry place goodbye cause you won't be there to fill it..."  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-  
  
" I don't feel very feminine in these clothes..." moaned Duo, still wearing his normal get-up from when he used to be male. "...I mean, look at them, they don't show anything!"  
  
Heero pulled at the top that Quatre had lent him. " I don't really care."  
  
" You wouldn't..."  
  
"Are we just going into this one?" asked Quatre pointing to the front of a clothes shop. " Duo has a point, for once. We aren't gonna get very far wearing stuff like this."  
  
Trowa 'hmm'ed again and Wufei turned his back on the four, this whole thing was going the total wrong way. He had only wanted them to enter it to boost up numbers, he hadn't expected them to take it so seriously! He didn't really care though, he had plans that would sort them so that they COULDN'T win...  
  
Wufei's train of thought was halted when Duo pulled at his sleeve and dragged him into the nearest clothes shop.  
  
" Duo! Let go of me! I don't wanna go into this one!"  
  
Duo dropped his arm and smirked. " Why...? Scared they don't do things in your size...?"  
  
You could literally see the steam fume out of Wufei's ears. " No! I... I just don't like the styles, that's all..."  
  
" Well me and the others do, so you'll just have to follow. Besides, Quatre is the one with all the money..."  
  
Wufei moaned again. Duo could be such a cow! He folded his arms and walked into the shop. Heero was already in the changing rooms trying on an assortment of little cocktail dresses in a variety of colours and sizes, Quatre was chatting to the assistant and Trowa was 'hmm'ing over a range of skirts and stretch-tops that would accommodate his bust. Wufei paid very close attention to what the four of them bought, that way he could take some time in scheming what to do with them...  
  
Never-the-less, he handed over his choice of a respectable dark-blue top and a pair of the flared jeans (come back the seventies! They don't make em' like they used to!). This would do just now while the others concentrated more on what they were going to be wearing at the competition. Wufei glared at them, certain that they had no idea what he was planning...  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-  
  
Trowa sat looking in the mirror that Quatre was holding up for him. " Are you sure that my hair looks good like this?"   
  
" You suit highlights Trowa..." smiled Quatre. " And that look that the girl gave you... blue is really your colour."  
  
" But isn't my hair too light? I don't want to go blonde..."  
  
" Its just a couple of streaks at the front, they didn't dye your whole head. There's nothing to worry Trowa, it'll be fine."  
  
Heero sat across from Duo with a note pad.   
  
" What's that for?"  
  
" Notes."  
  
" Notes? What ya talking about?"  
  
Heero scribbled something down onto that paper. " Notes incase I forget what the girls done. They said so many things and put so many different things on my head, I need to remember them all for when I go to do it myself..."  
  
Duo 'oh'ed and went back to practising applying mascara. After poking himself in the eye a couple of times, he stood up triumphantly and paraded around the room. " I've mastered the art of applying mascara! I did it! Now for the eye-brow trimming... gees, its not easy being a girl. Do all of them have to go through this?" (A/N: - Make-up? Wha's that? Never had any on... am I missing out on anything great?)  
  
He rummaged around in the little bag of make-up and make-up accessories that Quatre had purchased. " Okay..." he stood up again. " Who's got that funny looking thing that pulls your eye-brows?"  
  
Heero shrugged his shoulders. Trowa evidently didn't have it as he was pulling at his hair and Quatre couldn't have it as he was away changing his 'thing'. That left only one person... Wufei...  
  
" Give it here Wufei!" Duo pointed at the Chinese boy/girl sitting on the floor with his back to them.   
  
Wufei launched the eye-brow plucker over his shoulder. " Take it!"  
  
Duo scolded him. " There's no need to shout! And you could have at least turned around! Don't be so rude!"  
  
" I'll turn around when I see it fit for me to turn round!"  
  
Duo threw himself at him. " You'll turn around now!"  
  
" No! I won't!"   
  
The two of them struggled for a moment before Duo grabbed hold of Wufei's hair and pulled his face round. Almost immediately he loosened his grip and burst out laughing. On one side of Wufei's face there was only half an eye-brow, while in the other, he had attempted to paint another in with make-up where it had been ripped out.  
  
" Well you try and do it better!"  
  
Duo was to busy laughing to answer. Within seconds the others were in the same state and Wufei could feel his anger rising again... He would show the lot of them, especially Duo...  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~-~-~-   
  
Duo rolled over and slung an arm round Heero, and started kissing him down the neck. Heero moaned in response and pulled Duo ontop of him. He knew what Duo was after and he was more than willing to give it to him. But Duo just sat on him, scratching his head and looking down at Heero with a perplexed look on his face.  
  
" Duo! For Christ's sake! Will you hurry up and do something or I'm gonna punch you in the face!" shouted Heero, getting impatient at his lovers slowness.  
  
" I'm sorry Heero."  
  
" Sorry?! You will be in a minute! What have I told you about winding me up like this, teasing me is one thing but this pisses me off! Do something!"  
  
" I will! Well, I mean I would... but..."  
  
" But what?!"   
  
" But I don't know how! What do you want me to do Heero, there's nothing there!"   
  
Heero threw his head back into the pillow. Being a girl had its downsides... 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
  
Trowa blinked weary-eyed at the alarm. Half-seven... time to get up. They had all arranged the night before that they would get up early and practice the art of applying make-up so Trowa had wisely set the alarm. However, it was not so wise to try and wake the 'still suffering from PMS' Quatre from his sweet slumber...  
  
He dragged himself out of the room, holding his face from where Quatre had slapped him for attempting to wake him, and headed for the nearest room to see if its inhabitants were up.  
  
" Duo? Heero? Are you up yet?" he knocked lightly on the door.  
  
No answer  
  
He knocked harder but still received no reply. Instead of trying to wake them from outside the room, he decided to go in...  
  
Lying with his head under a couple of pillows was Heero (Though Trowa had seen Heero asleep many times, he still couldn't understand why Heero tried to bury his head under any available thing that he could when he slept.) and lying next to him was of course, Duo. The covers had been kicked off of Duo's side and his 'I love man ass' tattoo could be seen clearly. Trowa had had no idea that Duo had a tattoo across the small of his back, despite all the times he had walked in on him changing, and he found it all the more ironic that it said 'I love MAN ass' when he was lying next to what was now a female. He walked up to the bed and held Duo's nose until he woke up, gasping for air.  
  
" Not funny Trowa! What are you doing in here anyway?! He pulled the covers back over himself and clung onto them.  
  
" You still love man ass?" he asked candidly, looking from Duo to Heero then back again. Heero was now awake and was death-glaring him.   
  
" What does that mean?!"  
  
" The tattoo, isn't it rather inappropriate?"  
  
Duo looked at Heero, who pulled the pillows back over his head and moaned some inaudible comment. " It was appropriate at the time, and I was drunk, so back off! What are you in here for anyway?! If Heero and me wanted a playmate, we would have asked..."  
  
Trowa's eyes widened. " That's not what I meant, or what I was implying! Who's idea was it that we get up at this time anyway? Remember, the whole 'lets get up really early and practice putting make-up on, the competition is only three days away' thing?"  
  
Duo toyed with the edge of the covers. He couldn't be assed getting up so early, but it had been his suggestion so there was no way that the others would let him get out of it. " Sure... fine. Anything to get you off my case. You getting up Heero?"  
  
Heero threw his arms over the pillows and held them down. " I want a word with you about last night..."  
  
Duo went bright red. Nothing had happened last night, and that was precisely the problem... " Would you excuse us Trowa? We'll be down in a bit... go get Wufei and Quatre up..."  
  
Trowa swallowed. Wufei AND Quatre? He wondered how many times he was due a slap that morning... " Sure, but don't be too late or I'll tell Quatre it was you two who ate the last of the ice-cream..."  
  
Duo smiled weakly, remembering what Quatre had done with the scoop when he found out that there was none left... " Okay..."  
  
Trowa backed off the bed and left Duo and Heero alone.  
  
Heero emerged from under the pillows, his hair a mess and the make-up that he had forgotten to take off the night before smeared down his face. " I was thinking last night, after you went to sleep..."  
  
Duo lay back down, moving his chest so that it didn't hurt to lie on it, put and arm round Heero and started to play with his hair while running a finger up and down his front. " What is it? I know that things didn't go very well but..."  
  
" I don't think that this is going to work." Cut in Heero, very bluntly.   
  
It took a couple of seconds for Duo to register what Heero had just said. " WHA?!?" he finally managed to scream.   
  
" No, not like that Duo, I mean..." but Heero was cut short by Duo's incessant ramblings. " You bastard!" he shouted. " I thought you loved me! We come across one little problem like not being able to screw each other stupid cause I'm not able anymore and you say that's it?! I hate you Heero Yuy! How could you be so insensitive!?! You aren't exactly 'all man' either anymore you know, why are you making it look like this is all my fault?!" he broke off in floods of tears.   
  
" Will you listen to me?!" Heero grabbed hold of Duo's shoulders and slapped him across the face. " I do love you, and I'm not trying to end us, I was just saying that unless we get some sort of... uh... 'aid', then our sex life is going to become non-existent!"  
  
Duo went 'ohhh...' and looked off into space for a couple of seconds before returning back to earth. The 'non-existent' part seemed to be having an impact on him. " No... sex?"  
  
Heero nodded his head slowly.   
  
" No sex means... not happy..."  
  
He nodded again.  
  
Duo emitted a scream. " No! I NEED sex to live! Shit Heero, what are we going to do?!"  
  
" It's simple," said Heero " We need to go 'shopping', like we did before. Remember, the ' Orgas..."  
  
" Yes! Yes I remember! But we didn't really use them when we got them, and we couldn't carry them about when we we're on missions..."  
  
" Which means we're just going to have to learn how to use them. And I want to start as soon as possible. I can't cut this, I've went three days without a good lay..."  
  
They then done one of those 'everything's going to be okay... let me hug you' hugs that, unsurprisingly, ended in Duo throwing himself at Heero only to be pushed off."  
  
" Hey! What was that for?!"  
  
Heero stood up off the bed, and pulled on a shirt (picture 'that' white shirt that he wears in loadsa pics off the net, especially the one where the shirt is *just* covering him and he has a Popsicle ... anyone wants it mail me!) " Cause there is NO WAY I'm putting my hand down there until I have something to go down there with..."  
  
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" Yuy! Give me that lap top!" Wufei stood in the living room, pointing at Heero who was busy looking up assorted porn accessory sites.   
  
Heero didn't look up. " Get lost. I'm busy."  
  
" Come on Yuy, I REALLY need on the net..."  
  
" Is that the sound of Chang Wufei pleading?" asked Quatre sarcastically from where he was sitting across from the pair of them. " Sounds like being a woman has effected your way of thinking as well as your way of acting..." he smirked evilly, pulling on one of his pigtails.  
  
" Shut it Winner! You have nothing to do with this!" Wufei now directed his finger at Quatre.  
  
" Don't get him started Quatre. I'll let you on just as soon as I'm done."  
  
Wufei screwed his face up. ' Why is it always me that's last?! I HATE this!' but all he said was " Fine, thanks."  
  
At that moment, Duo came hurtling down the stairs and into the sitting room. " SHIT!"  
  
Heero stood up and knocked over the laptop. " What is it?!"  
  
" BLOOD! I'm BLEEDING!" he flailed his arms around making bizarre squealing noises that roughly translated in to 'NO!'  
  
He sat back down again. " Oh that's just your period."  
  
Duo fell to his knees " No! This isn't right! Quatre, what the hell is going on?!"  
  
Quatre turned round and stared at him. " Nothing much. You'll just bleed for around a week, feel twice your normal size, lose control of your temper more than you normally would and just generally feel like shit."  
  
Duo's face fell. " No kidding?"   
  
" Nah, and the blood will get everywhere. And your hair will feel crap and greasy, and you'll get really, REALLY bad pains just below your stomach, round about here." He indicated the (you know where it is) area where he had been struck by dreaded period-pains.   
  
Duo felt like crying. " But the competition is only two days away, and you'll probably be finished by then..."  
  
Quatre smiled. " More than likely. Heh heh, I'LL be finished, YOU'LL just be starting..."  
  
" Stop rubbing it in..."  
  
They were both distracted when they heard Heero and Wufei bitch-fighting over the PC.   
  
" Give it here!"  
  
" No way! Its mine!"  
  
Wufei grabbed hold of it, snaked his way past Heero ad bolted up the stairs where he ran into his room, locked the door and threw himself behind it. He lifted up the monitor and flicked the switch on. ' Now to find out who's in this competition and where they are appearing...'  
  
He found the web site that gave the lists of entries and scrolled down it until he found where he and the others were. Duo was first, then Trowa, Heero, Quatre and finally himself. But it wasn't only his own and the other four's names that caught his eye.   
  
" R. Darlin and D. Catalonia?!?"  
  
Then he thought to himself. ' Its only Relena and Dorothy, and they aren't exactly a basket of fruit. Besides, they won't know that it's us, I hope...'  
  
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The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful for the five girls. Duo suffered from a mental and physical breakdown due to the fact that he was bleeding and hadn't been screwed in three days. Heero spent most of his time looking up porn shops to look at the vast array of porno and porno accessories (in which he was paricularly interested in). Trowa kept himself to himself by practising zipping ones self in and out of a dress that barely fitted. Quatre, in the final throws of his PMS, underwent a stage in the day where he kept baking cakes, ranging from four tier, iced things the size of a wedding cake to little fairy cakes with strawberries ontop of them. All were surprised at Quatre's talent of making the perfect meringue. None of the others really seen Wufei for the rest of the day, assuming that he was in the middle of a pouting session, not that they really cared. He was being an ass-hole and they were all beginning to tire of him. At least this competition would sort things out... 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five  
  
It was obvious that Wufei was taking the whole competition thing far too seriously, Heero had commented on the fact that he kept disappearing into his room and locking the door behind him, as if he was planning something... But Quatre (now recovered from PMS) had told them not to be ludicrous.  
  
" He's just a little uptight, that's all."  
  
" Do you think maybe he's making his own clothing?" asked Duo " You know, like in Cinderella or something."  
  
" Yeah, and I'm gonna be the Fairy Godmother. And another thing, it was the mice who made the dress, not Cinderella."  
  
" Not in the version I heard."  
  
" Well I don't wanna hear what version you heard, she probably wasn't even wearing a dress in it..."  
  
Duo smiled wickedly. " You seen that film too? Heero could get a copy of it for you if you want, he's been spending all of his time on porn sites anyway."  
  
Quatre squinted. " Duo, shut up."  
  
Duo pulled his eye anime-style but said nothing. His stomach was killing him and he felt really stiff and sore. ' Damn bleeding... so stupid and pointless...'  
  
The little blonde stood up and stretched.  
  
" Woah! Quatre! Blonde or not, you REALLY need to do your pits!"  
  
" Wha? But I just did them two days ago!"  
  
" Well you need to do them again."  
  
Quatre strutted over to Duo and started grabbing his arms. " Really, well let's see yours then!"  
  
" Heero! Get him off me! He's touching me again!"  
  
Heero looked up from his laptop but went back to clicking away at the mouse a second later.  
  
Quatre pinned Duo to the floor and lifted his arms above his head. " You can hardly talk! Look at the state of your pits! And your legs look like a brillo-pad!"  
  
" That's just cause my hair is darker than yours! If your hair was as dark as mine, you would look just as hairy!" he grabbed onto a pigtail and tugged at it. " Get off of me you blonde jerk! The last thing I want is you waving your blonde about in my face! Its blinding!"  
  
Quatre backed off. " There's nothing wrong with being blonde! At least I'm not the stupid one!"  
  
" What are you saying, that I'm stupid?!"  
  
Quatre pointed at him with a calm and almost mocking look on his face. " You are stupid, and you know it, because it is a fact."  
  
Duo's PMS levels went through the roof and he launched himself at Quatre, knocking the table that Heero was sitting at and pulling the wire out the back of the laptop.  
  
" Goddamnit! I took me AGES to fill that order form out! Now I'm going to have to do it all over again!" he stood up and looked down at the two fighting girls who had now stopped and were smiling pathetically at him.  
  
" Quatre started it..." mumbled Duo.  
  
" Did not..."  
  
" Shut up!" Heero's eyes were on fire. " Now it's going to take even longer to order stuff. Hear that Duo? And it's all your fault!"  
  
Duo pulled his hair over his face. " Quatre Rabarba Winner is found guilty of starting the argument that resulted in the loss of Heero's porn. I, Duo Maxwell hereby sentence him to... uh...wax Heero's legs and get them feeling all silky smooth. Case closed."  
  
Quatre pushed Duo over. " You bitch! Who made you judge and juror?! I'm not waxing Heero's legs! He'll kill me!"  
  
Heero death-glared the pair of them. " I don't need mine waxed, done them this morning. But you can both do each other. And I'm going to watch you do it, do you have any idea how long it takes to get that thing to get back on-line if it hasn't been shut down properly?!"  
  
" Gees Heero, its only porn... its not like your going to die or anything..." Duo whined.  
  
" Not porn, porn accessories. And I feel like I'm going to die, I haven't fucked in four days! And I'm going to have to wait even longer now because you two were playing like stupid little school girls!"  
  
" Well, we are technically still little school girls..." said Quatre in a meek voice, like a kid that tells the truth even though it would have wiser to tell a lie.  
  
Heero's death-glare darkened. " Shut it." he then walked over to where the two girls had fallen, grabbed Duo by the ear, Quatre by a pigtail and started dragging them up the stairs to the bathroom.  
  
When they got to the top landing, Wufei poked his head round his door, as did Trowa.  
  
" What's going on?" asked the tall boy/girl.  
  
" These two hairy little school girls are going to wax each other, EVERY PART OF THEM. And I'm going to watch them do it."  
  
" What? Even down there?"  
  
Heero nodded. Trowa gasped slightly and Wufei smirked. ' Heh heh, nice to see Maxwell on the receiving end of it for once...'  
  
Heero flung the bathroom door open and launched the pair of them into it. " Right. Strip."  
  
" I'm not stripping infront of you!" exclaimed Quatre indignity.  
  
" You'll strip, and you'll get waxing or you won't be able to go to this competition tomorrow..."  
  
Quatre scowled. Duo was already down to his bra and little white cotton panties, his pants and top heaped at the door. Trowa and Wufei were hovering around behind Heero, who was standing in the doorway, ruling out all chance of escape. " Fine..." He gingerly lifted his arms and pulled of the fitted vest that he was wearing.  
  
Heero then walked into the bathroom, rummaged around in the cupboard until he found the waxing kit and threw it at the pair of them.  
  
" Aren't you taking this a bit too far?" asked Quatre shyly.  
  
" I've just lost at least a week of sex, as far as I'm concerned you're getting off lightly. And you can start with the legs."  
  
" Ooh, full frontal nudity." Smirked Duo, who was actually starting to enjoy himself. He had never really had a problem with 'baring all' infront of the other guys.  
  
However, Quatre was not so at ease with the idea of getting naked.   
  
Beside him, Duo was now naked. " Alright Quat-chan, want me to do you first? As Heero says, we'll do the legs first..."  
  
Quatre's eyes grew wide as he caught sight of Duo pulling a thin strip of paper out of the box.   
  
" And one more thing..." Duo almost burst out laughing. " It REALLY hurts your first time."  
  
" How the hell would you know?!" demanded Quatre as he stood with one arm over his chest and the other over his crotch.  
  
Duo folded his arms, emphasising his chest. " Quatre, I'm gay. Body hair doesn't go with all that leather and latex. Ask Heero if you want, waxing lasts longer than shaving."  
  
" No you bloody won't. I'm not answering any questions like that. Hurry up and get started!" ordered Heero.  
  
Quatre looked from Duo, to the paper he was holding in one hand, to the strange little bottle of something that was in the other. ' This is bad.' Duo was now walking towards him and his first reaction was to turn and try to get as far away from the wax yielding maniac as he could, but Heero caught him, threw him to the ground and pinned his arms above his head.  
  
" Let go of me you bitch!" he squealed. But Heero held him down with a 'You're going to pay for depriving me of my porn' look in his eyes. It was apparent that although Heero was now female, he had lost none of his strength. " Come on! Can't we just shave? You can even nick me a couple of times! PLEASE!"  
  
Duo kneeled infront of him, and started to wax him up.   
  
" Argh! Where the hell have you been keeping that stuff?! Its bloody FREEZING! You're not meant to put it on the skin anyway!" said Quatre.  
  
" Well we are making an exception for you and Duo."  
  
Duo pulled away and stared at the bottle. " Funny, its not supposed to be..." he looked up and saw that Heero was telling him to skip the legs and 'get down to business'. Duo smirked evilly, moved the bottle slightly and squeezed hard.  
  
" ARGH HOLY CRAP! STOP IT!"  
  
When Duo was sure that there was enough on, he picked up the funny little spatula thing and started to spread it about going " Spreading wax all over Quatre, gonna shave his bikini line!"  
  
Quatre started to kick wildly in an attempt to stop Duo, but Heero only asked Trowa and Wufei to hold his legs down. Seconds later, Duo waxed the paper, lay it down on Quatre, and pulled it away.  
  
" FUUUUUCK! YOU BASTARDS! THAT REALLY HURT! OW, FUCK!"  
  
Duo smirked again. " Well now you can do me. Come on Quatre, wax me up!"  
  
" If you don't watch it, I'll wax the hair growing out the top of your head off!" he grabbed the bottle. There was something slightly unsatisfying about waxing someone who enjoyed it, when he didn't. At that moment, Duo quickly lay another piece of paper on the leg that was covered in wax, and ripped it off. " For the love of God stop it!"  
  
Duo held the paper with Quatre's hair on it up to his chin. " Hey Heero, would I look good with a goatie? I could grow it, then get it done blonde. Cool huh?"  
  
" Well it would be, except that you're a girl now. You can't grow a goatie!"  
  
" I don't know, Quatre's got a bit of the 'ol stubble under his lip, see?" Duo went right up to Quatre's face and pointed at his mouth.   
  
" Uh-uh. There is NO WAY you're waxing my lip... go to hell Duo."  
  
All the time, Trowa and Wufei stood holding their sides for fear they may split with laughter.   
  
" Come on Quatre, make me shine in a way that only you could..." Duo pulled at his hair and curled it round one finger with the 'It wasn't me' look in his eyes.   
  
Quatre looked at the bottle, looked at Duo, and looked at bottle again. He had just been struck with a most evil thought...  
  
  
  
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Wufei was in hysterics. He was right, Duo COULDN'T do any better than himself. At least his had started to grow back, and the competition was tomorrow. This couldn't have come at a better time, it was as if Quatre had done his work for him.  
  
" Hold it still!" Duo shouted as Heero stood infront of him with a mirror. " I can't do it straight if you keep moving it about!"  
  
" Sorry..." apologised Heero from between quiet laughs. " I'm trying..."  
  
" God damn!" the eyeliner pencil slipped off to one side. " Do you have any idea how much I hate you right now Quatre?"  
  
Quatre was sitting behind Heero making faces. " I have a vague idea.."  
  
" Vague? Vague?! It would be vague if I had at least one eyebrow left, but you waxed both of them! This isn't vague, this is vivid!"  
  
Wufei relaxed back into the armchair. Things were going better than he could ever have hoped. But there was still that matter of Relena and Dorothy. He hadn't said anything to the others. The idea had crossed his mind, but he had dismissed it. Maybe they would get stage fright if they went there and saw the two of them? Well, who wouldn't be frightened by Relena in a skimpy dress? 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six  
  
" I've got butterflies..." moaned Duo as he sat at the kitchen table staring into the bottom of his mug.  
  
" Nervous about the competition?" suggested Trowa.  
  
" No..."   
  
" Anything I can help with?"   
  
" No, unless you want to go upstairs and screw the living daylights out of Heero. He kept me up all last night-deliberately as well, said I could 'power sleep' as he was going to keep me up seeing as he couldn't get any off of me..."  
  
Trowa's eyes widened again. " You're right." He said at length. " I can't help."  
  
Duo picked up a spoon from the table and started to push a Rice Crispy that had escaped from his bowl around the table. " I hate this whole girl thing..." he said with a sigh. " No sex, bad hair days, make-up thing... I mean come on! When I was a guy I didn't have a single split end! Now look!" he dropped the spoon and picked the end of his hair up, holding it up so Trowa could see. " Look, this one is split in four places... four! What the hell is that about!?! And Wufei is still in that bloody bathroom!" He stood up and grabbed the brush from the corner of the kitchen and proceeded to bang the roof as the bathroom was directly above. After he was satisfied that he had knocked enough plaster off of the ceiling he sat back down. "We need to leave here in two hours and I haven't even started to get ready!" Duo sighed heavily and let himself slid face-first onto the table.  
  
The second he heard the click of the bathroom door lock, he shot away from the table and bombed up the stairs only to see the back of Quatre for a second before the door was shut and locked again. Duo squealed in frustration and fell down a couple of steps before steadying himself.  
  
Heero was standing in his doorway. " What's wrong with you?"   
  
" That fickle blonde... that's what!" The PMS was starting to gain control of Duo. " He's bloody in there, I bagsied the bathroom after Wufei, he has no respect for my bagsingness authority! Twat!" he pushed by Heero and threw himself onto the bed, giving Heero a nice view of his ass up his skirt.   
  
He turned, and followed him into the room, shutting the door.   
  
Duo was lying on his back. " You could have put a bra on..." he drawled, poking Heero in one of his breasts as he came into poking range. " You're falling out everywhere..."  
  
" Not my problem. I haven't got changed properly yet anyway. There would be no point."  
  
Duo sighed again. This was just going to be one of those days. His hair was in a state of disrepair, he was till bleeding, and he had been hit by all of the side effects that Quatre had warned him of. He had had the most horrific cramps for two days now and they hadn't got any better (_<. If anything, they had got worse. He grabbed his stomach and rolled over onto his side. " Owwie..."   
  
" Owwie?" asked Heero " What the hell does that mean?"   
  
" It means 'owwie', my stomach, or whatever the hell it is, is killing me! Its even worse than that time I ate that entire king burrito!"  
  
Heero made a 'hmmm' noise, remembering how Duo had been in bed for three days after forcing himself to eat the mother of all burritos for a dare. " Anything I can do?" he asked  
  
" Nuh-uh... I feel like shit... I wanna have a bath instead of a shower but there won't be enough hot water left by the time that little blonde chauvinist is done in there..."  
  
Heero kneeled down and started to play about with Duo's loose hair.   
  
" Cut it out Heero, my hair's bad enough as it is without you messing it up even more."  
  
" Sorry, I was just playing about with it..."  
  
Duo immediately picked up on the tone that was evident in Heero's voice. That ' come on, you can't resist me, and you're gonna have sex with me right now' tone that only Duo had heard. " You can forget it Heero." He said bluntly.  
  
" Forget what?"  
  
" This whole 'lack of sex' thing is really doing my head in Heero, stop making it worse... I'm not bloody doing anything. When was the last time you used that tone with me? You usually just jump me and fuck me stupid without a word. Not that I'm complaining or anything..."  
  
" Well, this is what lack of sex does to a man..."  
  
" Point one, you are not a man. You are a woman. Point two, you were never a man, you were a boy! Baka!"  
  
Heero glared at him. " Thank you for you're confidence in me..."  
  
Duo blushed. " No, no! You were always 'man-sized', you just weren't..." he broke off for a moment to think. " Oh you know what I mean! No one would ever call you 'sir', it was always 'boy'." he sighed. " Believe me, I wish you we're still man-sized, even boy-sized would do me... anything! I hate this!"  
  
Heero walked up to him and to his surprise Duo grabbed him and threw him onto the bed beside him. " Let's see what's so great about this whole female thing then! You always heard them going on about how much better they are than guys so they must have something to show for it!"  
  
" What are you doing Duo?!" exclaimed Heero as Duo started lifting up his little skirt and pulling at his panties.   
  
" Get 'em off!"  
  
" No! I said not until..."  
  
" I'll improvise!" he ripped Heero's panties off and threw them into the corner.  
  
Heero lay on the bed gasping. " Duo, we have to leave in a couple of hours... we don't have time for this..."  
  
" I'll find time!"  
  
" But I thought you weren't having any of this... and that..."  
  
" Well I'm having it now!" he threw himself ontop of Heero and unbuttoned his skirt, flinging it in the same direction as his pants. " Spread 'em!" he forced Heero's legs apart.  
  
After what seemed like an hour, Heero finally asked him what he was doing. " What the hell are you staring at that's of any great interest?"  
  
" Uhhh..."   
  
" What?!"  
  
" You look like a... um... centre-fold..."   
  
" Don't compare me to all your damned porn mags you slut!"   
  
" You know all my porn mags are for gays! You've seen 'em yourself!"  
  
" Oh shut up! If you're going to make something of this, hurry up!"  
  
Duo hopped off of Heero and started heading for the door.   
  
" Where are you going?! I warned you about this!"  
  
" I'll be back in a minute..." Duo winked and disappeared through the door.  
  
Downstairs Trowa was still sitting at the table. " Will you keep it down? I'm trying to read."  
  
" Sorry." He apologised quickly. He strutted up to the fridge and threw the door open.   
  
" What are you looking for Duo?" Trowa peeked round from the paper. " You've already had your breakfast. Don't go eating Wufei or Quatre's, they won't like it."  
  
" Oh, it's not for me. It's for Heero." He continued to rummage around in the cold box and the bottom of the fridge. Eventually he stood up yielding a rather large cucumber. " Success!" he cried as he held it above his head and shut the door with his foot.  
  
" A cucumber? Duo, what the hell is..."  
  
" I told you, it's not for me, it's for Heero. You could call it 'breakfast in bed'..." he smirked as he saw the look of registration on Trowa's face as he pulled the paper infront of himself. " Okay, don't come up and knock to tell me that Quatre's out the bathroom, I'll find out. Infact, tell them all to bugger off if they don't want Heero to start his threats again..."  
  
" You'll be late for the competition..."  
  
" No we won't, I'll keep track of the time..."  
  
" Alright, but don't start complaining when you're late and you get out."  
  
Duo smiled again and disappeared back up the stairs.  
  
In the room Heero was lying exactly the way that Duo had left him. He caught sight of the cucumber. " Duo, what the..."  
  
" What? It's the best I can do at such short notice, or impulse, or whatever. But if you're gonna be like this I can just take it back down the stairs..."  
  
" No! Don't you bloody dare!" He grabbed him and dragged him down until he was far enough to kiss him.  
  
After Duo broke away, he sat with the cucumber in his hands. " This is gonna be cold Heero, it'll take too long to get it warmed up..."  
  
" Do I look like I care? Just hurry up and do something!"  
  
" Alright... just don't hit me or anything if you don't like it..."  
  
" Fine, yes, great, just do SOMETHING!"  
  
Duo pulled Heero up and dragged his top off. " I'm glad you never put a bra on, I can't get the hang of fastening and unfastening them."  
  
" Neither can I."  
  
" Well don't you turn into one of those feminist liberation freaks that strut around burning bras while shouting about their rights of equality through a megaphone..."  
  
" Don't worry. I'm not."  
  
" Good." He was sitting ontop of Heero's stomach with his legs behind him, still holding the cucumber. " So here we go..." he now turned round and (A/N: - gotta be careful here... I haven't a clue what goes on in Yuri fics, so its not like I know what's going on... I shall just leave it up to my perverted mind & gt;_ 'aimed it at its respective target' (You like?).   
  
" ARGH! ITS FUCK'N FREEZING!"   
  
Duo narrowly missed Heero's flying fist. " I told you it would be! Don't take it out on me!"  
  
" But it's so cold!"  
  
" Give me a second! I'm doing my best, I've never done this before, never mind with a girl!" he picked himself up off of Heero and sat between his spread legs. " Man you're tight, if you loosened up a bit this wouldn't be as uncomfortable."   
  
" I have a cucumber in me, how the hell am I supposed to get comfortable?!"  
  
Duo tried moving the rigid vegetable further up Heero but to no avail. " You've gotta loosen up a bit."  
  
" I'm trying!"  
  
At that second (and without any warning) Wufei opened the door. " Maxwell, Trowa said that you have the cucumber and... WHAT THE HELL?!?"  
  
Heero 'argh'ed and saw Wufei standing in their doorway with a mint coloured face-pack on. Then Duo turned and saw him, squealed and fell forward shoving the cucumber straight up Heero who went; " Ahh! Fuck!" and arched his back up while making a funny screwed up face. He then grabbed onto Duo's hair.  
  
" Do that again!"  
  
" But Wufei..."  
  
Wufei's nose had exploded and it turned the face-pack from a fresh mint green to a disgusting vile brown. " You sick bitches! That cucumber was for dinner tonight!"  
  
" Then why were you going to use it for your face?!" screamed Duo as he tried in vain to ignore Heero's violent shaking and " Do that again! Do that again!"  
  
" At least I wasn't going to use it as a sex toy!"  
  
" If you don't like what you see then get out of here!"  
  
Wufei didn't have to be told twice. Holding his nose, he slammed the door shut behind him.   
  
" DO THAT AGAIN!"  
  
This time Duo obliged.   
  
Heero continued to make screwed up faces. " ARGH!"  
  
Wufei stormed down the stairs, completely put off the ideas of salad and cucumber eye therapy for the rest of his life. " You should have warned me!" he shouted at Trowa as he went into the kitchen.  
  
Trowa burst out laughing. " Well that's what you get for letting Quatre in the bathroom before Duo... poor girl's got to find some way to amuse herself..." 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven  
  
Wufei stood in the doorway of his room mentally checking things off to make sure that he had picked everything up. He had already packed and unpacked his bag three times to be certain, then he had went through it once he was sure that he had put everything in. He could hear Duo shouting him, telling him that he had two minutes before they were leaving. He stood up and took a deep breath. This was it. This was the decider. He opened the door and made his way down the stairs.  
  
Quatre was standing at the bottom with his dress and other garments slung over his shoulder in a pack. Heero was still in the kitchen trying in vain to iron the crease out of the back of his dress. Trowa was already outside waiting on the others and Duo was brushing now brushing his teeth at the kitchen sink. Wufei gave them all a backward glance as he walked out the door.  
  
Soon enough they were all standing outside.  
  
" Who's driving?" asked Trowa.  
  
" Well I'm not." Replied Duo.  
  
" We want to get there in one piece. We wouldn't have let you drive anyway!" shouted Quatre.  
  
" What's wrong with you?!" snapped Duo. " You're not driving, that's for sure!"  
  
" I'll drive for God sake." Said Heero. He grabbed the keys from Duo and opened the door. He opened the boot and threw his stuff in, then he opened the drivers door and stepped in. " Get in." he growled while staring straight ahead.  
  
All this time Wufei said nothing.  
  
Heero sat in the seat fixing his hair in the mirror.  
  
" What are you doing?!" yelled Quatre. " You can do your hair when we get there! The more time we spend here, the less time we have to get changed!"  
  
" Shut it. It doesn't start for another three hours. You want to drive or something?"  
  
" No, I just..."  
  
" No nothing. We'll get there in plenty of time."  
  
Heero glared. Quatre huffed. Trowa sighed. Duo kept quiet and Wufei smirked. If they were going at each other like this already, what was it going to be like when they go there? He had a rough idea and it made his smile even broader...  
  
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* * *

  
" There's a lot of girls here, more than I expected." Said Duo as he watched a hoard of made-up girls' walk by. " And they are not all as unfortunate as I hoped they would be."  
  
" You mean they aren't all as unfortunate as you." Stabbed Quatre.  
  
" Shut it you blonde wench! That's not what I meant and you know it! I wasn't even talking to you! Tell him Heero!"  
  
Heero ignored the both of them. " There's the list of competitors over there." He said to Trowa.  
  
Trowa nodded. " We should sign in first."  
  
Duo and Quatre stopped arguing for a moment before they started fighting with each other over who could get to the sign in desk first.  
  
" Let go of my hair you sadistic fuck!" screeched Duo as Quatre pulled him back.  
  
" Then get out of my way!"  
  
" Never! That's why I'm 02 and you're 04! I'm before you! I'm even before you in the show! Now move it!" he poked Quatre in the neck, subsequently making him squeal and fall to one side. Duo barged by him and threw himself at the man behind the table. " I'm here for the contest, competitor."  
  
The man raised an eyebrow. Duo saw it.  
  
" Hey! What's with the look?! I'll make you raise more than that in a minute if you don't hurry up! Duo Maxwell!"  
  
He sighed and crossed of Duo's name on the piece of paper that was infront of him. " Corridor to the left, first room on the right."  
  
Duo grabbed his tag and stormed off, his PMS levels reaching an all time high.  
  
Quatre was next. " Q. Winner please." He said politely in a now calm voice.  
  
" We need your first name Miss."  
  
Quatre bit his lip. " First name? Oh, um..." he desperately wracked his mind for a girls name starting with Q. " Uh... Quenelle? Yeah, Quenelle Winner." He smiled weakly as the man handed him his tag.  
  
Soon all five were in the make-up room, squeezing into their costumes and applying layers of cosmetics. Trowa was now a Tracey, Heero was now a Hana and Wufei was now a Wendy.  
  
" You checked the list yet?" said Wufei casually as he sat infront of the mirror with a hair straightener.  
  
" No." replied Quatre while applying mascara. " We signed in first. I should go now."  
  
" Can you check it for me?" asked Duo from behind a changing screen.  
  
" Go to hell! You can do it yourself!"  
  
" Aww, come on. You're going anyway..."  
  
" And your point is? I'm going for no one but myself. You want to find out you can go yourself!"  
  
Duo pouted a little and pulled his top back on. " You coming Heero?"  
  
Heero stood up from where he had been sitting putting on lipstick. " Sure."  
  
" What about you two."  
  
" I know who's where..." said Wufei. " Go find out for yourself. You can check out the competition while you're at it."  
  
" Wait on me." Said Trowa.  
  
Wufei couldn't believe how easy it had been to get them all to disappear. And they had left all of their stuff as well! The second they were out the door he fell upon their bags before he vanished into a cubical.  
  
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* * *

  
Duo was raging. " R. Darlin? R. Darlin?!? What the fuck?!? Who set this up?!? In all the colonies, in all Earth, she has to be here, entering the same contest as us!" He spun round wildly and glared at the other three. " Heero! Do you know anything about this, because if you do..."  
  
" Hey back off! You think I'm thrilled that she's here?!"  
  
" Shit, she isn't the only one...," said Quatre melodramatically " there's a D. Catalonia up here too. See?" he pointed at the name under Relena's.  
  
" Shit! Fuck shit! Buggerdy fuck (A/N: - copyright of Clan Invincible.) Fuck sticks! (So is that.) How is this possible?!"  
  
" I don't know what you're so worried about." Said Heero. " It's Relena and Dorothy for Christ sake. Not exactly competition when you think about it..."  
  
" This is conspiracy!" declared Duo as he stood in a pose. " Someone knew about this and neglected to tell us!"  
  
" It's just a coincidence Duo, that's all." Said Trowa.  
  
" Sounds like something a conspirator would say!" he pointed at the uni- banged girl. He was about to say more when a door opened and someone shouted something that sounded like ' Shut the hell up' was heard. " This competition is rigged" he declared again, ignoring the shouts.  
  
Then he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned quickly round, ready to give whoever it was a row.  
  
Blue eyes, straw brown hair, HUGE earrings, an unnatural white set of teeth and the most vile set of rags he had ever seen. Relena.  
  
" Excuse me, will you keep it down?"  
  
Heero cowered behind Trowa, seeing as he was the nearest and tallest. Anything to get him out of Relena's sight.  
  
" Keep it down?! Fuck off! I'm entitled to a rant as much as the next person! Go and preach somewhere else!"  
  
" Excuse me?!" Relena's face darkened. " Rant where you can't be heard please!"  
  
Duo couldn't help but gape at what she was wearing. Revealing was an understatement. The scant piece of pea-green cloth that doubled up as a dress barely reached the end of her thighs and was cut off half way down the chest. It was when he realised he was craning his neck to shout at her face did he notice the six inch heels that she was wearing.  
  
" Did you hear me?!"  
  
" Yes, seeing as you're screeching in my ear you blonde twat!"  
  
" Twat?! You are so damned rude! Who do you think you are?!"  
  
" You think I'm rude?! You should meet my girlfriend!"  
  
" Well that would explain everything! Girlfriend!"  
  
Duo clenched his fists, though the temptation to punch Relena in the face was as tempting as it had always been he decided not to. " Get out of here before I give you a good fuck, you tight little virgin!"  
  
Relena's face fell.  
  
" Not got anything to say now have you?!"  
  
" Not to anyone as rude as you." She turned her back and walked away, forcing Duo turn back to the others to avoid the sight of Relena's ass in a tight dress.  
  
" Where was I? Oh yeah, conspiracy..."  
  
Quatre was amazed. " Duo, that was Relena..."  
  
" Yeah, I know. Stupid bitch. That's just what she was like when Heero told her he was gay. That right?"  
  
" Leave me out of this." He replied, still behind Trowa.  
  
" Went nuts, started going on about how 'wrong' it was. Jealous cow, she just can't handle it! Anyway, now that that unpleasantness is behind us, and we know who's where we should get back. Wufei's probably stabbed his eye out with the pencil or something..."  
  
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* * *

  
Wufei was fully ready when they got back. " What took you so long?"  
  
" We ran into one of the less fortunate competitors." Replied Quatre. " Relena to be precise."  
  
" Relena? My!" he was quite pleased at his performance. " What did you do?"  
  
" Duo went nuts at her, told her to fuck off basically."  
  
" Good for him!"  
  
" Anyone seen my bag?" asked Heero. " It was here when I left."  
  
" Oh, it's over here. I had to borrow your foundation. I forgot mine." He couldn't believe that they were all playing straight into his 'trap'...  
  
HEYYYYYY~!!!!!!!! Chapter seven now be ups :D I would like the thank mithros, who has commented on three chapters :D  
  
And no one else has Less people post the longer it will take for chapters to come up 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight  
  
Trowa stood infront of the full-length mirror, turning this way and that so that he could get a good look at himself. " I don't think I'm going to get away with not wearing it..." he said at last after doing a three-sixty.   
  
" Well I can't find it." replied Quatre sternly as he dug through Trowa's bag. " Have any of you lot seen it?"  
  
" Seen what?" asked Duo, looking up from where he was painting his toenails.   
  
" Trowa's bra. He can't find it, and he's hanging out everywhere. There's no way he can go out onto the stage without it, he'll have someone's eye out!"  
  
Trowa turned a discreet shade of red, complimenting the deep red dress he was wearing.  
  
Heero hobbled up to him. " Not seen it either."   
  
Duo squinted as he noticed the way Heero was walking. " What's wrong with you, why are you walking like that?"  
  
" One of the heels on my shoes is shorter than the other, I can't walk properly in them!"  
  
" Well put another pair on."  
  
" I can't. I only brought the one!"  
  
" Why don't you borrow a pair of Quatre's? He's got about ten different pairs with him!"  
  
Quatre was now sitting on the floor with the entire contents of Trowa's bag around him. " Nuh-uh. I take a different size from Heero, he's a size bigger than me."  
  
Suddenly, there was an ear-splitting whine as the loud speaker clicked on and a man broadcasting that all competitors were to be at the main stage in three-quarters of an hour.  
  
" Oh shit!" cried Quatre. He stood up, and unexpectedly there was a loud ripping sound and a large tear from the underarm to the hip of Quatre's emerald green dress. " OH SHIT!" he stood, pathetically holding the fallen piece of material to the piece that was still on his back.   
  
" Its only at the seams..." said Duo, trying for once to be helpful.   
  
" Yeah, and I supposed to whip out my Singer and sew it back together?! This was the only dress that I brought! Infact, this was the only outfit that I brought! I brought all those shoes, and only one outfit... It'll take too long to get back across town to the house..."  
  
" Oh give it here!" yelled Heero.   
  
Quatre pulled his arms from the straps of the dress and allowed it to drop to the floor. He picked it up and handed it to Heero.   
  
Heero then proceeded to rake through his bag until he pulled out a travel sized sewing kit. " Give me half-an-hour. I'm ready, you should do your hair or something productive until I'm finished." He looked up and saw that his four companions were staring at his with astounded looks on their faces. " What?"  
  
" You can sew?" asked Quatre, holding a bag infront of himself, memories of the waxing incident still fresh in his mind.  
  
" Yes."  
  
" Oh." He bushed, and turned away.   
  
" Well, I'll leave you to get on with it!" cried Duo cheerfully as he grabbed his bag and turned to walk out the room.  
  
" Where are you going?"  
  
" Gotta change my 'thing'..." he walked out the door and headed down towards the nearest toilet.   
  
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Relena, in her own private changing room that she was generously sharing with Dorothy, sat infront of her large, full-length mirror looking from side to side as one of her many assistants attended to her hair.   
  
" You know, that horrid girl, the one who was doing all the screaming and shouting, seemed rather familiar to me..."  
  
Dorothy laughed hollowly. " Whatever makes you think that? Who did she mind you of?"  
  
Relena squinted. " I'm not sure. This may seem ridiculous, but she did look rather like Duo Maxwell."  
  
" Duo Maxwell?! Oh Relena, Duo is on L2! At least, he was last time we heard from him, and that was only a month ago."   
  
" Still, she did look like her..." she gazed into the mirror. " But then again, everyone has a double and I may just be a coincidence if I've happened to run into his double here."  
  
Dorothy smirked.  
  
" But she even sounded like him, arrogant and pretentious. Never mind though, as I said, it is just a coincidence."  
  
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The four remaining girls dropped what they were doing when they heard what sounded like the familiar sound of Duo screaming. Sure enough, seconds later Duo burst in through the door with a face like thunder.   
  
" What's wrong with you?" asked Heero quietly as he turned his attention back to mending Quatre's dress.   
  
" I've none left!" cried Duo as he held the front of his dress out.  
  
" No what?"  
  
" 'Thingies'! I don't have any left! And they didn't have any in the machine either! It's not right, I packed four! Four! Where have they went?!"  
  
" You can't have packed them, you would have them if you did."  
  
Duo was almost sobbing. " But I did pack them. I did! I remember doing it!"  
  
" Well don't look at any of us, none of us are on so you must have forgotten to pack them."  
  
Through all of this Wufei sat in the background, watching as the other four fell casualty to his plans. There was no way that Trowa could go out onto stage if he wasn't wearing a bra, Heero looked asinine walking in the only pair of shoes that he had with him and even if he did manage to sew Quatre's dress back to one piece, you would still be able to see that it had spilt apart. But the best thing about it all was that Duo couldn't even leave the changing rooms, walking alone would add an unsightly red stain down the front of his purple dress which would explain why he was walking around holding the front of his dress out.  
  
Duo made the motion that he was about to fall to the ground, but stopped as he remembered his predicament. " Shit! What am I going to do?!" he wailed " I can't go out like this... It's bad enough walking as it is!"  
  
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By the time Heero had finished sewing Quatre's dress they had only ten minutes left before they were due on stage. Duo had admitted defeat, there was indeed no way that he could show himself comfortably in what he was wearing and so he reluctantly changed back into what he had arrived in. This 'setback' only caused Quatre to start bitching and pushing everyone around as who he was as his main competition was now out. Heero simply ignored Duo's persistent whining and complaining and got on with styling his hair. Trowa stood in the corner with his arms folded under his chest. And Wufei said nothing.  
  
Time passed quickly and soon enough the four remaining girls made their way to the backstage. It was busier than any of them had expected; there seemed to be girls crammed into every available crevice, each one wearing a different colour from the other and all chattering incessantly, causing great mystification and discomfort to the G-girls who were yet to work out what the appeal of chat was and also how to tolerate its high decibel range. And somewhere among the sea of waving blonde and brunette was Relena and Dorothy. Luckily for the G-girls (Nyaa! Fei-chan's a girly-o! *Ducks Wufei's flying katana* What's wrong Wufei? Is it that time of month? .~) they spotted them first.  
  
Heero's first reaction was to obscure himself behind Trowa, who had been the first to recognise the pair who were squealing away to a red head. However, Relena was not wearing what she had last been seen in. now she donned a modest blue dress that stopped just above her knees and was cut reasonably high. The material reflected a deep purple the light unfortunately complimented her hair and eyes perfectly.  
  
" Seems like Relena's found a sense of fashion after all..." said Quatre, glaring Dorothy from his vantage point next to Heero.   
  
" You can't talk, who's the one who wears a pink shirt with a blue waistcoat, goggle-head?" replied Wufei.   
  
" If I'm not mistaken that sounds like you are defending Miss Darlin over there..."  
  
Wufei screwed his face up. " Nonsense. I'm just stating a point."  
  
" And there's nothing wrong with wearing a pink shirt with a blue waistcoat. When you've got as much money as I have you can wear whatever the hell you want, Fei-chan..."  
  
Suddenly Heero uttered a slight squeal as Relena and Dorothy started to head towards them. " Oh shit oh shit oh shit... quick! Stand in a group and talk about something!"  
  
" What?!" started Wufei, who was not given the chance to finish as Heero had grabbed him and forced him to face Trowa who was standing with a placid look on his face.  
  
And just as Relena and Dorothy were about to introduce themselves to the group the loudspeaker clicked on and the voice announced that the competition was to start immediately.   
  
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Duo huffed as he fought to find a seat that would give him a nice view of Heero when he felt someone tug at his hair. He spun round wildly, ready to give whoever had dared touch his voluptuous locks but only managed to stand wide-mouthed as the recognition kicked in.  
  
It was Milliardo Peacecraft. And he knew who it was who's hair he had pulled. " Duo? Is that you?"  
  
Duo threw a hand up to the side of his face in an attempt to mask his look of surprise. " Uh, sorry..." he stuttered.  
  
" Oh, I'm sorry, I though I recognised you Miss..." he stood back and stared at the girl.  
  
" Oh, that's alright." Still he kept his hand over his face. Then suddenly he had a thought. " Um, I'm kind of lost here. You see, my, uh, cousin is in this competition and I wanted to come along to see her but I can't seem to find a seat..."  
  
Milliardo (or 'Angemon' as we in Clan Invincible affectionately call him... I would call Legolas Millardo but Cat would slaughter me, or send wave after wave of elves upon me... not that I really mind if its ones like Glorfindel and Legolas... mmm... elf ass...) smiled. " Oh, I can show you to a seat if you like Miss, uh..."  
  
" Ma... Mayer." He corrected himself. " Amy Mayer..." now he managed a light giggle. He couldn't believe his luck! Here was Milliardo, offering to show him to a seat! Now there was a great chance of him finding out why Relena was in the competition, and what she thought of Heero and himself... As long as he kept his mouth shut then he wouldn't get any more suspicious than he already was...   
  
Duo laughed again as he allowed Milliardo to take him by the arm and show him to his seat. 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine  
  
Duo sipped at the cup of coffee that Milliardo had bought him. It tasted sour, but he swallowed it down and continued to smile and nod as Milliardo prattled on about why Relena had entered a beauty contest in the first place; something to do with a bet or something like that. Duo couldn't help but think how ironic it was that they were the same reasons that he had entered, except that he was now out of it and the whole purpose of entering had totally been defeated.   
  
" So I was in this part of space anyway, and I thought it would be nice to come and show some support for my sister, seeing as it's been quite a while since I've seen her..."  
  
" Oh, and how is that?" asked Duo while taking another drink. " I'm surprised that Relena could find some time out of her busy schedule to enter this competition...And it is rather busy..."  
  
Milliardo went on to explain how he and Relena had been separated as children, though he did not give the full explanation, and how he had only just met her again.  
  
Duo giggled and threw a hand up to cover his mouth. " I'm surprised enough that Relena has time to enter this competition, imagine if she had a boyfriend!"  
  
Milliardo laughed. "Oh she insists that she's not quite ready for a boyfriend at the moment. She's quite stringent when it comes to things like that, she claims that she did have a boyfriend at one point, but he ran off with another person..."  
  
Duo's eyes fell a little. She had said that Heero had been her boyfriend? He wouldn't go anywhere near her with a ten-foot barge pole with a bar of soap attached to end! Well, not in that sense... and the one and only time that she ever did come onto him he had told her outright that he was gay, or bi at the least so he was halfway there. That was when Relena completely lost the plot and started cursing them both all the names under the sun... Now that Duo thought about it, it had been quite funny to see her lose her temper like that... Since then Heero had only talked to her a couple of times and they had been short.  
  
" Person?" Asked Duo, taking care not to sound so persistent.  
  
" A guy..." Replied Milliardo. " She wasn't happy about that one little bit..."  
  
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Trowa threw a hand over Quatre's mouth as the little blonde screwed up his face ready to scream. He removed it when he felt that all danger had passed.  
  
" That bitch stood on my foot!" he whispered viciously while pointing at a tall girl in a beige outfit.  
  
" Well that's still no excuse to scream." Retorted Trowa and he placed his arms back under his chest.   
  
Quatre scowled. " Little bitch... thinks she owns the place..."  
  
" When is this going to start?" asked Heero impatiently. " We've been standing here for over ten minutes..."  
  
Quatre was about to answer when a man, the same one who had given them their tags, pushed his way to the front of the hoard of girls. " Attention ladies!" he called as he stood at the front of the group. " The judges are just organising themselves. Once they are settled the competition will begin!"  
  
" Thank God..." murmured Heero. " I can't stand in these shoes much longer..."  
  
Wufei stood infront of the large pain of glass fingering his face. " Can you tell that one of my eyebrows is fake?" he asked Trowa quietly as he continued to drag his finger across the intact brow.  
  
" No, you can't unless you're really close up but you'll make it worse if you keep touching it."  
  
" Too late!" said Quatre as Wufei's finger slipped, causing the eyeliner to career off at a crazy angle.   
  
" Shit!" cursed Wufei, licking his finger and trying to reshape the slanted brow but only proceeded to make it worse. He stood with his arms out, trying desperately not to let his fingers touch the white silk dress he was wearing.  
  
Quatre stepped forward to get a better look at Wufei's face when the girl that had previously knocked him did so again, causing Quatre to knock into Trowa, Trowa to knock against Heero and Heero to grab onto the girl infront of him to stop himself from falling over. Of course, the girl he had grabbed was not too pleased about it and she spun round to face him, knocking Trowa again who then fell back in to the girl causing her to fall over. And as she fell, she fell against the girl beside her, and then the one beside her, until all except Wufei and Quatre were on the floor.   
  
" I didn't do it!" squealed Quatre as he brought his fists up to his chin and screwed his eyes shut.  
  
Wufei turned a discreet shade of red as he noticed that most of the girls were now lying heaped on the floor revealing rather a lot of cleavage and bikini areas.   
  
Heero grabbed onto Quatre and hauled himself up " What was that about?!" he shouted at the blonde.   
  
" Hey! I didn't start it! It was that little wench that keeps knocking into me!"  
  
" Stop scapegoating!" replied Heero. " I almost broke my neck in these damned heels, and you've done more than enough damage as it is! Do anything like that again and I'll break your neck!"  
  
Quatre scowled back but said nothing, memories of the waxing in his mind.   
  
" Uh, a little help please." Said Trowa, as he was still on the floor and was unable to get back up.   
  
Heero and Wufei helped the busty girl to stand.   
  
" Thanks."  
  
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As a result of this little 'incident', the competition was delayed a further fifteen minutes. It would be another ten before any of the G-girls were to go out on the stage but eventually Trowa's name, Tracey, was called and he sheepishly walked up to the catwalk, ever conscious of his chest.   
  
As he walked out he was momentarily blinded by the sudden wave of flashes from the hundreds of photographers that had gathered, but he quickly righted himself and started to confidently strut down the corridor to the chorus of 'ooh' and 'ahh' from the audience.   
  
" He's doing really well." Commented Quatre from behind the side curtains.   
  
" Lemmie see!" demanded Wufei, pushing the blonde out the way.   
  
" No pushing!" whispered Heero. " I'm not falling over again..."  
  
Moments later Trowa was back standing with them and Heero's name was called.   
  
" Good luck..." drawled Wufei as he glared at the Wing pilot.   
  
Heero scowled back and turned to walk out.   
  
He too was knocked sideways in surprise to all the flashes and sounds of clapping but he too managed to right himself, while trying his best to walk smoothly in the uneven heels that he was wearing. He kept his eyes to the front, but could not help but notice Duo who was sitting right at the end of the catwalk deep in conversation with none other then Milliardo Peacecraft. Here he stumbled a bit, though he would have even if his shoes were not in the state they were in, and he quickly straightened himself before turning and disappearing behind the side curtain.   
  
" I don't like this..." he sighed as Quatre's false name was read out. " Why did I agree to this again?"   
  
" Well it was either a bet, for money, a bribe or you were drunk." Concluded Trowa, fidgeting with the thin straps on his dress.  
  
Heero frowned. Duo and his big (but very talented) mouth...  
  
Quatre bounced past the small party. " Wish me luck!"   
  
Within seconds of walking out onto the stage, Quatre could fell the stitches that Heero had sewn into his dress straining against his movement down the catwalk. Keeping his arms at his side in an effort to hide the tearing seams but to little avail...  
  
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Duo giggled as Milliardo continued his rendition of the time that he had got his big toe stuck in the tap in the bath.   
  
" You must excuse me a minute..." he laughed. " I shall not be long..."  
  
Milliardo smiled politely and stood up so as to let Duo out from his seat.  
  
Once Duo had reached the end of the row, he headed for the side doors then straight out to the changing rooms. How much of that sickly coffee had he choked down for the sake of keeping that twittering blonde happy?! He practically ran down the corridor until he reached the changing rooms and ran in, knocking over Wufei's bag as he burst through the door. Not looking behind him, he locked himself in the toilet.  
  
As he stood washing his hands (Good boy Duo!), he noticed that where Wufei's bag had been knocked over, there were a couple of tampons lying on the floor beside it. Duo sighed in relief, but as he bent down to pick them up, he noticed that the side pocket of the bag was open and in it he could see another two tampons.   
  
" What's Wufei doing with these?" he thought aloud. " We would know if he was on..."  
  
He stood for a minute, putting two and two together (literally) until it finally clicked.  
  
" Wufei!" he shouted at his reflection in the mirror. ' That twisted bitch! Its his fault that I'm out of the competition!'   
  
He kneeled beside the bag and discreetly ripped the zip back. He picked up the bra that was sitting on the top of a pile of clothes.  
  
" Wufei planning on getting implants?!" he screeched as he held the 38D above his head. " Gonna get them grafted off of Trowa is he?!?"  
  
As he dug deeper into the bag he found more and more that pointed the cause of their misfortune as Wufei. There was a pair of shoes, identical to Heero's but with the heels intact, a thread picker that he had obviously used to loosen the threads on Quatre's dress and a sheet, printed almost a week ago with all of the contestants names on it.   
  
" So he knew Relena and Dorothy were going to be here..." he hissed as he dug his fingers into the paper. " And he never said a thing!"  
  
He sat on the floor and continued to fume away at himself before he looked at his watch and realised that he had been gone for almost ten minutes. He quickly picked everything up from the floor and neatly placed it back in Wufei's bag. Carefully repositioning it where it had been, he left the changing room and headed back to Milliardo.   
  
" Sorry I took so long!" he beamed as he sat back down next to the blonde. " Its awfully busy here, you can hardly move!"  
  
As Milliardo picked up the conversation from where he had left it, Duo could think of only one thing. Revenge. And he was going to make it very, very sweet.  
  
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The four remaining G-girls were whispering away to each other back stage, and before they knew what was happening they were being jostled back into a group as they had been before.   
  
" What's happening?" asked Quatre as he was flung against Heero. " They can't be finished the first round already, can they?"  
  
Before anyone had the chance to reply, they found that they were being separated into two groups according to the names on their tags.   
  
Wufei stood with his arms held at his hips and his chest out as he noticed that he was the only one out of the four of them to be in the group on the right, the smaller one and therefore the one that signalled the contestants who would be in the next round. Looking around, he saw that Dorothy too was in it, as was, Heero?!  
  
Wufei scowled at the pilot. ' Damn it!' he cursed to himself. ' That wasn't supposed to happen! He wasn't even supposed to get as far as this!' he crossed his arms and turned his back on the group in total denial of what had happened. ' Oh well...' he thought ' There's plenty here that'll knock him out, if I can't that is...'  
  
His chain of thoughts (Or should that be 'plots') was broken as the man once again stood at the front of the two groups and announced that...  
  
" The group to the right will go onto the next round. The group on the left can return to the changing rooms or they can watch from the audience if they so wish."  
  
Wufei's face fell as he seen Quatre throw his arms around Trowa with a smirk a mile wide plastered across his face. He was out. Quatre, Trowa and Relena were still in. He had not expected the two of them to get any further than the first round. But now that they were, he was sure that neither of them would make it any further...   
  
He pulled at the tie in his hair and stormed off to the changing rooms, Heero not far behind. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten   
  
" I can't see where I went wrong!" pouted Wufei as he pulled a dark blue top over his head. " What exactly is it that those judges are looking for?!"  
  
Heero didn't reply but continued to pull his shoes off from his aching feet.   
  
He continued to pack the rest of his clothes away, taking care to shelter any incriminating evidence of his wicked deeds from Heero's vigilant eyes. " How did Trowa and Quatre manage to get through to the next round? What is that that they did that I didn't? I mean, you had that problem with your shoes, but all it was that you had to do was walk up, turn around and walk back down, and I failed at it! Me! I can't believe it!"  
  
Heero made a 'hmm' noise to indicate that he was actually listening, though if he was paying any attention was a completely different matter.   
  
" Yuy? What do you think?"  
  
" I think it doesn't matter." Replied Heero in a vapid tone. " Its over, you lost and so do I. And now that we did, I don't care who wins. It makes no difference to me, I never really wanted to enter anyway. I only did it to get people off my case."  
  
Wufei pouted for a moment. " Whatever... I was looking forward to showing Maxwell up..."  
  
Heero turned on him. " This whole thing was about showing Duo up?" he asked in a rather undeceive voice. " He never even got to enter, so you never got the chance to..."  
  
Wufei quickly turned round and buried his face in his bag. What had Heero meant by 'never got the chance to?' Did he know? Then again, with Heero it appeared as if he knew everything anyway, it was just that he never shared it with anyone. " Well, I guess you're right, it's over now. And there's no point in winding ones self over it..." said Wufei simply, choosing to let the subject ride out rather than raise Heero's suspicions any higher than they already were.   
  
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Quatre squealed and latched himself onto Trowa's arm, receiving rather promiscuous looks from the opposing girls that remained after the first round of elimination's. " I can't believe we made it through to the next round!" he whispered excitedly " We're further than Wufei!"  
  
Trowa's expression remained unchanged. " There are still quite a lot of girls left. What is it that we have to do this round anyway?"  
  
Quatre placed a finger up to his mouth and hooked it over his lip. " I'm not too sure. I think maybe we have to do a short presentation; a speech on why we think we should win or something like that."  
  
Trowa 'hmm'ed and continued to stare at the girls who were grouped together and cackling away to themselves. " I still don't understand why girls need to talk as much as they seem to. All they ever do is talk, and it's usually about someone next to them. Females are rather fickle."  
  
" Trowa, you are female! No need to segregate yourself away."  
  
" Well you try having a chest this size. Then you help but feel different."  
  
The now all too familiar announcer stood at the front of the group, confirming Quatre's assumption that this round would consist of each remaining contestant giving a short oration on why they would like to win or why they wanted to enter the contest in the first place. A wave of whispers spread over the sea of bobbing blonde and brunette. The first contestant would be on stage in five minutes, that time was spent by the girls rehearsing their lines, perfecting their walks and generally doing everything possible to get on Quatre' already frayed nerves.  
  
Out in the audience, Heero was edging his way towards Duo who was still deep in conversation with Milliardo. Wufei trailed behind him, keeping his head low incase Quatre or Trowa should see him, the little blonde had a tendency to shout abuse at any given excuse and Wufei did not want to be it. Heero eventually struggled his way through the crowd and stood firmly infront of Duo, glaring from him to Milliardo to back again.  
  
Milliardo raised a brow. " Yes? Can I help you?"   
  
" Uh..." muttered Duo, desperately trying to remember Heero's assumed name. " Hana?"   
  
"..."  
  
Duo smiled weakly. " This is Milliardo. He's been telling me all about Relena... She's his sister you know!" He put one hand up to his face and flipped the other one forward while grinning tritely.  
  
Heero's eyes continued to burn into him.   
  
Duo shrugged his shoulders, then caught sight of Wufei who was still pushing his way through the crowd. " Wendy!" he cried, standing up and waving his arms around, causing serious staining problems to the white shirt that Milliardo was wearing (Compliments his hair wonderfully don't you think...?) as the cup of coffee he was holding was abruptly emancipated from the tall blonde's strong grasp.  
  
Wufei barged up to him. " Yes?" He frowned and flicked his loose hair behind his ear, adding an effective 'hmph' while he was at it.  
  
" If you don't mind me saying..." started Milliardo " Wendy does not sound very much like a... like a..."  
  
" Eastern name?" concluded Wufei, displeased more than ever over his choice of name, reminding himself that it had been that or 'Winona'.  
  
" Yes..."  
  
" Oh Wendy's mother was twice divorced and three times married." Said Duo, confident that he could save the situation from turning into a glaring match anymore than it already was. Still, it gave him an excuse to have a dig at Wufei. " Don't ask how, we don't even know where he comes from so I don't know how he is supposed to!" Duo laughed loudly, causing some of the elderly members of the audience to start mumblings amongst themselves about the rude girl talking to the even more rude Chinese one. " Poor girl..." he continued, wiping a fake tear of laughter away from his eye. " Met her at school..." he whispered behind a hand to Milliardo. " Was terribly shy right from the start. She hardly speaks at all..."  
  
Wufei turned red, though this time it was with rage and not embarrassment as it usually was.  
  
" And this is Hana." Duo introduced the glaring and brow-raising Heero to Milliardo.   
  
Milliardo smiled politely and offered them both a seat.  
  
Both stood fast, eyeing Duo with great suspicion and mistrust, Duo eyeing them with a pleading look on his face. Heero and Wufei reluctantly agreed to the invitation and sat down just as the loud speaker clicked on and the next round was announced.  
  
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I shall not go into great detail here; saying only that out of the twenty or so girls who remained, only four remained, them including a couple of strangers, Relena and Trowa. Quatre went on to regret reacting the 'I'm flying Jack' scene from Titanic involving the microphone stand and a bouquet of flowers that he had stolen from the winners podium. Trowa, confused as to why he had made it through to the finals despite giving a forthright and bland speech on why he thought the cosmetic industry, and in particular beauty contests, were wrong. Though he had a suspicion that it had something to do with the fact that he was still unable to find a bra and his arms had weakened, causing him to stand with his back arched out only serving his chest to become even more prominent. Relena had simply dug out one of her old speeches on 'A safer and more friendly universe for us and the future generations' and prattled on about it for the better part of fifteen minutes. She had been the only one who had received a standing ovation and Trowa, who was now standing one away from her on the main stage, averted his eyes from both her and Dorothy who was 'nancing' (Ahh... a favourite pastime of one Starkiller...) around the audience with the rest of Relena's 'fan club'. Due to Trowa's passive nature, he found no difficulty in standing on the stage infront of the large audience, his only qualm came from the fact that the air conditioning above the stage was not doing a lot to help him disguise his 'braless' state.  
  
" Wow." Said Duo, staring at the girl's chest. " You could hang a duffel coat on them..."  
  
" Ssh!" hissed Quatre who had now joined them. " Don't say things like that! It's not very feminine!"  
  
" Oh shh yourself..." mumbled Duo, wishing that the whole thing would hurry up and end so he could go home and unleash his wrath upon Wufei. " I'm just saying that if it gets any colder on that stage she's gonna have someone's eye out!"  
  
Heero choked on the coffee that he was pouring down his throat. He too found it bitter but it had been a long day with nothing but Quatre's ham and honey sandwiches. (A/N: - Try ham and honey... its nice!)  
  
Beside him Wufei yawned. He was getting terribly bored of the whole event and was still bitter over being put out in the first round, though he was sure that he would be able to gain his revenge on Duo for the remark he had made about his chest that first day he woke and found himself to be female. That and the " If you don't like women why aren't you gay?" that he had had to put up with from him for the past four months. He had seen Duo suffer 'the horrors of full waxing', but the sick little masochist had enjoyed it... He had to think of something that would pay Duo back without causing any inconvenience to himself while also genuinely getting him back for what he had done.  
  
Wufei's thoughts were rather imprudently interrupted by the loud speaker which once again clicked on to announce the rules of the next round which would determine who took which place. As it turned out, it was a voting round decided by the audience. A system of cards was to be used, and all a person had to do was put a cross in the box next to the name of the person who they wanted to win. Of course, it took a simple person to get a simple thing like that confused, and Duo had to nudge Quatre repeatedly until he finally paid any attention to him.  
  
" I can't see Trowa's name anywhere." He whispered in fear of Milliardo finding out who the four girls that had ascended upon him really were.  
  
" Oh for God's sake... There! Tracey!" Quatre viciously stabbed a pen at the name.   
  
" Oh..." Duo crossed it and passed it along the end of the row where it was collected.  
  
Another fifteen long minutes passed before the familiar whine of the loud speaker was heard.  
  
" And the winner of Miss Teen AC197 is..."   
  
Relena smiled greasily. Trowa blushed profoundly. The other two girls braced themselves for their names to be called out.  
  
" Tracey Barton!"  
  
" Wha." Said Trowa bluntly, his arms hanging limply at his side. A wave of camera flashes once again blinded him and he threw his arms up protectively over his eyes to shield them to no avail. Amongst the sea of flickers he could make out Dorothy, her eyes brimming with tears and her lip quivering heavily. He looked at the side and saw Relena with her fake smile plastered across her face then looked out again to see Heero impatiently staring at his watch, Wufei trying his best to stifle a yawn and Quatre almost throttling Duo with a vigorous hug. The remains of the bouquet that Quatre had decimated and a trophy were thrust into Trowa's arms and he was pushed forward into the now reassembled microphone stand to give his winners speech.  
  
The audience fell silent as the microphone whined.  
  
" Uh..." Started Trowa, rather uncertain as to what to say. " This is unexpected."  
  
The mic whined again.   
  
" Is that all you have to say?" whispered the curator who had been standing beside him.  
  
" And I want to go home now... please..."  
  
The audience remained silent and Trowa was quietly ushered off the stage where he was quickly lost among the rush of photographers and reporters. The curator shoved him past them and into the empty corridor where he was approached by Relena.   
  
" Good show you put on." She said cheerily, giving him an indescribable look. " It was good to hear someone finally tell the truth."  
  
Trowa nodded. " I only entered this as a bet. I wasn't expecting to get very far."  
  
" Funny, I entered it as a bet too and I never thought I would get past the first round!"  
  
Trowa smiled weakly in recognition. " Well I have to go and get changed. My friends will be looking for me."  
  
" Me too." She turned to walk away. " See you around Trowa."  
  
For the first time in his life, Trowa raised an eyebrow and a smile along with it. 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven  
  
Throughout the journey home, Wufei had remained rather talkative, much the annoyance of his fellow companions. By the time they arrived home he had been given four death-glares by Heero, five death threats from Duo and seven barrages of insults from Quatre, but still he talked on and on about anything that he could think of. Anything to try and get their minds off of the events earlier on that day. But Duo had not forgotten, and the second Wufei had disappeared up the stairs at home he had informed everyone of his discovery.  
  
At first it was only Quatre who was mad at what Wufei had done, but as time wore on both Heero and Trowa found themselves to be equally disgusted at him.   
  
" It's not so much the fact that he sabotaged our entries." Said Trowa while arranging the remains of the flowers in a water filled vase. " It's that he withheld certain information which would have made today a lot easier on us all. That and the fact that he can't own up to what he did."  
  
Heero agreed with him. " Wufei has been a total bitch and I'm not having it."  
  
Duo frowned a little. Though he was glad that Heero was agreeing with him in that Wufei deserved to be punished, he knew Heero to be the kind who would normally just let things drop and cool down. There was something about the way that Heero was unconsciously snapping Duo's favorite key ring from the care keys off that unnerved him slightly.  
  
" Keep you voice down!" shushed Quatre. " We don't want him to hear us, then he'll know that we know what he knew but didn't tell us!"  
  
All three gave him a funny look.   
  
" What?" asked Duo " Was that?"  
  
" I'm just saying that we need to be quiet. Okay, Mr. Master in Stealth operations... Gees, for someone who's supposed to be able to move in complete silence you make a lot of noise..."  
  
" That's a 'Miss' to you if you don't mind. And don't get on at me! It's Wufei that we need to be thinking about right now... So how are we gonna get him back for what he's done, the little ass licking bitch..."  
  
" Why don't we wax him?" asked Trowa. " It was only Duo and Quatre who got it last time, maybe we could do that."  
  
" No good." Said Quatre. " Wufei still goes on about how 'he feels no pain' and how he has 'mastered pain in its most extreme' so it wouldn't hurt him in the slightest. Besides, he can hide it if we wax him."  
  
Duo threw his arms up into the air, narrowly missing the back of Heero's head. " I know! I know! Why don't we throw a ferret at him while he's in the bath?!"  
  
" Poor little ferret!" squealed Quatre. " No! Bad Duo! Don't you even think about going out to get a ferret! Heero! Hide the car keys!"  
  
Heero slipped the keys into the back pocket of his jeans.  
  
" You think I ain't gonna go in there?" smirked Duo, aiming himself at Heero's ass. " I wanna see Fei-chan scream, and I wanna see him do it through the ferret treatment!" he threw himself forward, catching onto the pocket. " Gimmie 'em here!"  
  
" For God's sake, stop that!" hissed Quatre. " I don't want to see you pulling at Heero's ass in the middle of the kitchen! Save that for later!"  
  
Duo stuck his tongue out and folded his arms, flicking his hair as he did so. " Well I thought it was a good idea..."  
  
" We'll we don't. What we need is something that'll last, something that'll really get him angry. What does he cherish the most?"  
  
" His masculinity?"   
  
Heero death glared him. " Does your brain fall out your ears if your hair isn't braided back to screw it in? Don't be so stupid."  
  
" What about his katana?"   
  
Quatre shook his head, his loose hair flying everywhere. " No, what could we do to that except take it and hide it for a little while? No... It has to be something different, something that he can do nothing about..."  
  
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Wufei decided that it would be less risky to go to bed early. That way he couldn't be segregated and interrogated by any of his flat mates. He avoided them completely that night, they had spent all their time in the kitchen since they had got back, not even unpacking their clothes, except one time when Heero went out with Trowa in the car. Not wishing to raise their suspicions any more, he had not spied on them to see what they had got, if anything at all, when they were out and by ten he was in bed fast asleep.  
  
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Duo stood outside Wufei's door dressed in his pyjama shorts and a sports bra. Next to him was Heero wearing a T-shirt and a pair of little cotton panties. At the other side of the door was Quatre in the same holding a brown paper bag and behind him was Trowa wearing similar clothes to Duo's. It was half four in the morning and they had been up all night arranging the kitchen for what they had planned for Wufei, though they were exhausted from the days activities, they were not about to pass up one of the best opportunities that they were ever going to get. Duo leaned forward to whisper to Quatre.  
  
" Open the door and see if he's asleep."  
  
The blonde smirked wickedly, the shadows from the lamp outside the landing window crawling over his face. He put a hand on the door handle and slowly turned it, wincing a little as it creaked a little, he poked his head round the frame. " Sleeping like a charm." He whispered as he pulled his head back round. He produced two lengths of cord and a scarf from out of the bag.  
  
" Good." Said Heero quietly. " Let's get on with this..."  
  
Duo crept forward, slowly entering Wufei's room he shuffled over to where the sleeping girl lay. Once he was there he signalled for the others to follow.   
  
When all four were around the bed, Duo quickly flicked the lamp on the bedside table on. It took a good minute or so for Wufei to open his eyes a little, but when he did the four of them were on him in an instant.   
  
" What are you doing?! What the hell?!? Maxwell! You..."  
  
They never got to hear what Duo was in Wufei's eyes for Duo had thrown himself onto him, holding him down while Quatre tied the scarf round his mouth effectively gagging him and silencing him except for a loud muffle. He was turned around while Heero bound his hands together with the cord and Trowa stood him up, taking great care to avoid his flailing legs as he scowled and screwed his face up. They didn't have to put up with it for that much longer as Quatre placed the paper bag over his head that Duo had appropriately drawn a smiley face on and all four were dragging him out the room and down the stairs to the blacked out kitchen where he was abruptly shoved onto a chair that was sitting in the middle of the floor. Still kicking and mumbling loudly, he had his arms retied behind him and attached to the chair as were his legs which were tied to the legs of the chair.  
  
When Duo pulled the bag from his head, all that Wufei could see was a table in the middle of the floor with another brown paper bag sitting on it and the outlines of the others. The light was switched on and it blinded Wufei for a moment, causing him to wince back. His eyes widened as he saw Duo pull on a rubber glove.  
  
Quatre pulled the scarf from his mouth and a scream escaped him. " What are you doing?!?"  
  
" What does it look like?" replied Duo, the triumph dripping in his voice. " Payback for what you did earlier on today..."  
  
Wufei squealed and rocked the chair from side to side while shaking his head." What are you talking about?! I don't know what you're on about!"  
  
" It's no good trying to lie." Said Quatre. " Duo found everything in your bag when you were on stage. We know that you tried to fix the competition for yourself so don't try and deny it."  
  
Wufei looked at Heero and Trowa who were standing in the background, Heero death-glaring him and Trowa with his usual expressionless mask on. " You two can't believe Duo can you? How can you be so bitter over a stupid thing like a beauty contest?!"  
  
" We're not." Retorted Heero coldly. " You lied to us. You knew that Relena and Dorothy were going to be there and you never told us. You knew that we wouldn't have entered if we had known that and you said nothing. We don't care that we lost, we're pissed off that you lied about something more important than any competition."  
  
" But I didn't lie about anything!" claimed Wufei, still cautiously eyeing Duo who was now putting the other glove on.  
  
" Let me rephrase it then. You 'neglected' to tell us some vital information."  
  
" Nonsense! I did no such thing."  
  
" You're only making it worse for yourself by lying." Said Quatre. " We told you already, Duo found what you had in your bag."  
  
" Well he shouldn't have been going through my stuff!"  
  
" You went through ours!" answered Duo angrily. " When we went out to check the list of names, you stayed and that's when you went through our bags and took the stuff! You swapped Heero's shoes, you unpicked part of Quatre's dress, you took Trowa's red bra knowing that he couldn't wear his white one under his red dress and you stole my, uh... thingies! What do you think you were doing?!"  
  
" Calm down Duo." Soothed Quatre. " Don't work yourself up."  
  
" Fine! I'll just get on with this then..."  
  
" Get on with what?!" exclaimed Wufei as Duo approached him. " Don't you come near me with those on Maxwell... don't you dare!"  
  
Duo stopped. " Your right. I forgot the most important part..." he turned around again and from out of the bag sitting on the table he pulled a box marked 'Loreal No. 7' Wufei screamed again as he noticed that the picture of the lady on the box had bright peroxide blonde hair.  
  
" NOOO!" he shrieked as Duo opened the box, discussing with the others how one actually applied the dye to another's hair. " Don't! Please don't! I'll tell you everything, I'll admit I did it just please don't dye my hair!"  
  
Quatre shook his head. " Nah, I think we'll do it anyway... You've been a bad little girl Wufei, you need to be punished..."  
  
Wufei sat trembling. The second Duo came near him he started to shake his head violently. " No! You're NOT putting that on my head!"  
  
" Hold him down!"  
  
Heero walked behind Wufei and held his head straight.   
  
" Okay... here I go..." smiled Duo as he poured the contents of the bottle over Wufei's head, pulling the sides up and coating it in the dye too. All the while Wufei sat cursing them until Quatre gagged his mouth again.  
  
When Duo was done he stood back to admire his work. " How long are you supposed to leave it on for?" he asked.  
  
Trowa picked up the instructions. " It says here you have to leave it on for half and hour to an hour if you have light hair already. If you have dark hair then you should leave it on for an hour to an hour and a half. If you leave it any longer then the colour will change form what's it's supposed to be. "  
  
" Okay. Lets leave it on for three hours." Smiled Duo while removing the gloves. " Or maybe we should sleep on it?"  
  
" Yeah, I'm exhausted." Said Quatre while scratching his head, his long natural blonde hair wrapping round his fingers. " He can sit there until we get up. It should give him time to think about what he's done..."  
  
" Take his gag out." Said Heero. " We probably won't be up for hours."  
  
Wufei glared them all individually as Trowa pulled the gag from his mouth. " This stuff is burning my head!" he screamed.   
  
" Oh stop screaming..." Yawned Duo. " You'll wake the neighbours up..."   
  
Wufei fumed, but whatever it was he was saying, the others didn't hear for they did as they had intended and left the 'almost blonde' girl sitting in the kitchen in the dark. 


End file.
